Monday, March 26, 2012

To Fully Understand. . . (Bella post Twilight)

I gently squeezed my husband’s hand and curled up into his lap. He gently brushed down my hair with his hand and I quietly began to break the red seal on my letter.

“What does it say?” Edward asked for a second time and I sank back down to the bed, putting my daughter’s letter aside. We would open that when the time was right. When Elizabeth was old enough to understand what had happened to her grandfather.

Dear Bella. . . The letter began as so many regular letters do. But this letter wasn’t an ordinary letter. No this was Carlisle’s last words. His last words to me. I softly traced the lettering written by his hands. I may not have known Carlisle as well as the others had, but he was still my father in law. A father figure to me. What would I have done if it was Charlie who had been killed? The idea made my heart stop.

“What is it?” Edward asked always noticing everything about me. I smiled.

“Nothing.” I said quietly going back to my letter. Carlisle warned me about becoming a vampire because of the impossible long life I would lead after the fact. But, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to become a vampire for that reason. He said he would give me his blessing if I wanted to become a vampire because I could not bare to let Edward face life alone. Perhaps, that was the real reason why I wanted immortality. No, that wasn’t it either.

If all of these things were not why I wanted the life I had chosen then what were? Perhaps Edward was mostly the real reason why I wanted to be vampire, but I didn’t think he was the only reason. At any rate it did give me something to think about. Something to consider.

“Well? Are you going to to tell me what the letter says?” Edward asked yet again. I laughed.

“He thanks me for making you realize that you are not a monster. Because Edward?” I said softly crawling back up into his lap and twisting his fingers into mine.

“Um?” He asked.

“He’s right you know. You’re not a monster.” I said gently. Edward smiled softly at me.

“What else did it say?”

“Just that I should think about why I want to be like you.”

“He’s right. I wouldn’t want this kind of life for you or for Elizabeth.” I shook my head.

“You promised.” I said softly touching his face.

“I know.” Edward answered. “I know I did. Is there anything else in the letter?”

“Only that a vampire life is a lonely one and not to decide until I was certain.” I added. Then smiled up at Edward again.

“But Edward, I think I am certain that this is what I want.” I said quietly. “ I want you, and Elizabeth. I want us to be together forever. Neither of us should face life alone.” I said gently entwining my fingers with my husband’s hands.

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