Monday, May 7, 2012

The Final Answer (Alessandra Post)



(Volterra, Italy, 35 BC)

Safe. I thought hugging myself sitting on the edge of a pool in the Volturi court yard. Letting the sun gently shine down on me. Safe. I wondered what it felt like to be safe again. I thought looking around the courtyard. Glancing at the shadows, trying to determined if a vampire lurked in them. Even in their own castle the Volturi did not seem to go out in the sun. But surely I, a little human was allowed to enjoy a minuet of sunlight. If one could call wallowing in grief, enjoying sunlight.

For six months I had lived in a sort of dream, only surfacing now and then. I could barely remember any of it, except the four tiny walls in my room, hidden deep inside the Volturi Castle. It was only when Didyme found me half starved that Master Aro decided that I should be moved to a different “location” he had called in it. In other words, more suitable rooms. Didyme had suggested something with the view of the courtyard. So I could feel as if I had some space. Even though I didn’t.

The courtyard bedroom, only reminded me of the room I had in my family’s once beautiful villa. The villa that now stood in ashes and ruins, amongst the bodies of those I had loved so deeply. I kicked at the water allowing my feet to dangle, in the cool liquid. I closed my eyes and allowed the images of that day which haunted me to come back.

Every time I closed my eyes all I saw was their faces surrounded by smoke and flames. Piran, my mother and father, sister, our slaves, my aunt and her family. Her gentle new husband and most of all Piran. I let the tears silently stream down my cheeks as I felt for Piran’s bracelet. It was still there on my wrist. Where he had clasped it the day he had been so wrongly murdered. I could still hear the screams in my mind. The smell of blood and human flesh was still very vivid in my mind and I shook my head pulling up my knees.

Why, oh why did I have to have a special talent that no one posses? Why was I so special that the Gods decided to grant me this gift? This gift that killed my family. This gift that had forced me into the Temple of Vesta as one of the virgin Vestals. Why was my life so planned for me that I did not have a say in it?

And why, could I not persuade the Volturi to kill me? They killed plenty of people. I had seen them do it with my own eyes. After all it was the Volturi that had my family killed. It was the Volturi that had killed Piran. Why did they insist on keeping me even after I ran away? I wondered staring into my reflection in the pool.

How could Master Aro think that for a moment I would ever be happy as one of their kind? How could he think I would want to be like he was after everything he had put me through? I would never, never be part of the Volturi. I had tried everything I could to get the Volturi to kill me. Never imaging that they wouldn’t compile.

However, it seemed that after six months my pleading, and begging had brought me nothing but an elegant room with a walkway to the courtyard were a pool sat silently in the middle. Just like at home. No, I would never be part of the Volturi. I thought silently slipping my brother’s knife out of my dress sash. I had carried it with me since that. Waiting for the right moment to use it. And this seemed like as good as any.

No one was watching, none that I knew of at any rate. No one was there to stop me from--- from doing the deed and surely the Gods would forgive me. Wouldn’t suicide be better than living my life forever in the face of a monster? Wouldn’t the Gods be more pleased with me ending my life than allowing them to turn me into a vampire? A Demon?

The images of my family slowly returned and I could once again see the fire rise up before my eyes. Here my mother’s screams piercing through the air as I silently ran to her. I’m coming--- I’m coming--- I thought silently pressing the knife deep into my right wrist slicing it open where my veins where and then the other wrist. Yes, suicide seemed to be the final answer. My only way out of this hellish nightmare I was living in.

I stared down at my wrist watching red blood ooze out of them and for one moment panic rose up in my chest. But then, I pushed it down and closed my eyes. The mere idea that I was inside a castle full of vampires who would flock to drink my blood was hardly a concern. The only concern I felt was what my mother would say when I finally was reunited with her. Would Piran be sad when he saw my wrist? Would my father be disappointed? Vestus--- My little sister.

I slowly began to feel incredibly dizzy and swayed, lying down onto the grass. I felt the world go in and out as if I was in a dream and then slowly go black as I felt strong arms lift me up. Piran? I thought slowly trying to open my eyes, but all I saw was darkness.

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